Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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