She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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