okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
