***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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