i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
