I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
