So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
