I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
