her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
