i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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