D3 body, D1 cock
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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