That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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