I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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