i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
