Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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