talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
