there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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