Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
you had me at cake vodka
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
