It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
