Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Randomize
