I want to stick my p in your. b.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
