it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
