Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
So vagazzling was a success
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
