i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
