May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
