For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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