you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
