yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I still have a little drunk in my system
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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