ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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