You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
and you fell through a lawn chair
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
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