I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
