I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
