im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
