Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
