wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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