i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
