kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
