physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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