Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
