He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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