I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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