school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
someone owes me an orgasm
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
