Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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