Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i already hear my dad disowning me
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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