Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
