u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
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