i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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