I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
