I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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