I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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