he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
