Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
