is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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